Let’s get something straight

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It’s okay to not vote.

All the folks in a lather about people who don’t vote need to towel off and pipe down.

Voting is a right “granted us by our Creator”, not a requirement, or even a responsibility. Like every other right, it can be exercised or not.

Almost everybody has the right to drive a car, which is great for the economy, but nobody ever browbeats bicyclists for selfishly depriving important industries from oil, to steel, to electronics.

You have a right to own a gun, but you don’t have to. If you shoot somebody with your gun you have a right to counsel, but you don’t have to accept it.

You have all kinds of rights that you never use and nobody bats an eye. Voting is – or at least should be – no different.

Voting is your right, and not voting is also your right.

Nobody has to vote.

If you hate all the candidates, you don’t need to vote for any of them. It’s your right.

If you’re disillusioned with the process, you don’t have to participate in it. Not voting doesn’t make you a Bad American, it just makes you a taxpaying citizen who didn’t vote.

If you simply don’t believe your vote will do any good, it’s okay to shrug it off. There’s a good reason voting isn’t required by law.

It’s not “wrong” to not vote.

And it’s not always “right” to vote.

Contrary to the sweaty emanations of the screaming classes, voting is not, of itself, a noble act. The undemanding feat of pulling a lever or filling in a little circle does not constitute proof of patriotism, virtue or wisdom.

If you have no interest in, understanding of, or opinions about the issues, the candidates or the behavior of government, you should absolutely not vote. In fact, that being the case, the most responsible thing you can do is not vote. Anybody can throw a dart at a ballot and call it voting, but it’s not. Voting presumes an informed choice. It’s a safe bet that many people who don’t vote give a lot more thought to serious national issues than many people who do.

 

And if you’re voting for a candidate mostly because they’re better at public speaking, or have more successfully avoided offending the perpetually offended, or simply because they look better on TV, then your ballot is not only meaningless, it’s helping to sustain an electoral system that values form over substance.

Better you should stay home on Nov. 8.

And one other thing ~

Sanctimonious Get-Out-the-Vote types like to holler about how those who don’t vote automatically give up their right to complain about the government. They can take that ridiculous statement, carefully place it inside a provided “security sleeve” and stuff it straight up their poll.

chachi

You always have a right to complain. Voting is a right, just like every other right enumerated in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, including the right to “seek redress”, and by not exercising one right you don’t magically forfeit all the others. Every American is entitled to all the rights and protections that come with citizenship, and if government moves to entail those rights, or abuse those protections, every American is entitled, even obligated, to cry “Foul!”, regardless of what they did, or didn’t do, on election day.

Voter or not, you have a right to your rights, and you have a right to insist on them.

And a right to yield them.

Either way, the ballot box has got nothing to do with it.

I’m glad we got that straight.

carlin

Dogs @ Work

CEO_Dog

This from the Humane Society.

 

“Dogs in the workplace, in general, make people happier. And less stressed. And more productive.”

 

 

Then again, the Humane Society would say that. The folks at the Humane Society would say having a dog under your desk improves Internet connectivity if they thought it would help improve human/dog connectivity. On the other paw, institutional bias doesn’t mean it’s not true, and there are lots of folks who swear by the amazing and beneficial properties of the increasingly common “office dog.” Having pups about the place boosts morale, increases efficiency and encourages employee interaction, they say. Pet-friendly policies enhance employee concentration and decrease absenteeism. Allowing dogs in the workplace aids recruitment and improves retention. It’s quite remarkable, really, the way letting people bring their pets to work can turn a bitter, disorganized and dysfunctional shop into a model of peaceful profitability.

Unless it isn’t.

dogBoardMeetingThe movement toward pet-friendly workplaces became official in 1996 when Pet Sitters International staged the first Take Your Dog to Work Day in Britain. The group’s Yankee branch followed suit in 1999, and the one-day experiment has been lapping up calendar pages ever since.

About 39 percent of American households contain one or more dog, and about 7 percent of American businesses allow one or more dogs on the premises, up from 5 percent in 2010. Approximately 5 percent of pet owners report bringing their dog to work “regularly”, another 7 percent said they do so “sometimes” and a more pet-independent 4 percent “rarely” share their cubicle with their canine. Together, the 16 percent of dog-owners currently taking advantage of their dog-friendly work environments comprise something like 6 percent of the workforce. And while that fraction is clearly fine with having Fido underfoot, reviews from the remaining 94 percent are, um, mixed.

According to a national marketing survey, where 34 percent of non-dog-bringers think they might be “happier” with dogs in the workplace, 63 percent are concerned the animals present stress-inducing “health and safety issues.” And while 25 percent believe dog-friendly policies “improve productivity”, a full 69 percent predict only productivity-sapping “distractions.” If recent studies are to be believed, they’re all right.

officepet-front-leadTrue, dogs in the workplace can improve employee morale, but mostly for those employees bringing their dogs to work. Noting that many dog-owners feel “guilty” and “worried” about leaving their pets home alone, a recent university study found that most experienced an 11 percent decrease in stress when allowed to bring their pet to the office and a 70 percent increase in stress when not.  And while statistics suggest that dog-owners are, indeed, more likely to accept and retain jobs in dog-friendly workplaces, it’s harder to say how many promising prospects are lost to such policies because studies on the pet-policy preferences of dog-less applicants are in short supply.  

It’s also true that dog-friendly policies can increase productivity by decreasing long lunches taken by employees rushing home to check on their dogs, and eliminating personal days taken for veterinary visits or to stay home with sick animals. But several companies experimenting with pup-pleasing programs have reported significant and expensive inefficiencies resulting from work-time lost to dog-feeding, dog-walking, dog-wrangling and general dog-tending.

sickDogOf “health and safety issues,” only about 10 percent of dog-owners “regularly” or “sometimes” bringing their dog to work say they would leave the animal home if it was sick or injured. Of the 4 percent “rarely” bringing their pets to the office, many say they take that step precisely because the animal is sick or injured. Thing is, animal behavioral specialists agree that a sick or injured dog is also a nervous dog, and that a nervous dog is far more likely to bite the friendly hand that pets it. What’s more, there are several diseases that move easily from dog to human, among them dog tapeworm, hookworm, roundworm and brucellosis. While the chances of cross-infection aren’t especially high, concern about the possibility is not without foundation.

The single greatest health question facing dogs in the workplace is purely allergic. About 7 percent of the human population is allergic to dogs, enough that dog allergy is recognized as a legal disability under the Americans with Disabilities Act. And no, there’s no such thing as a hypoallergenic dog, and short-haired pups aren’t less sneeze-inducing than the shaggier breeds. Also covered by the ADA is cynophobia, a fear of dogs shared to some degree by more than 30 percent of those Americans seeking treatment for an anxiety disorder.

Dog-AllergiesIf many dog owners dismiss apprehension about dog bites, dog diseases, dog dander and dog phobias in relation to their own well-tempered, well-immunized, well-scrubbed and, well-favored pets, business owners probably shouldn’t. Employee lawsuits stemming from dog bites, dog-allergies and dog phobias are increasingly common, increasingly successful, and can result in ADA penalties up to $75,000 for a first offense. On advice of their attorneys, many businesses have ultimately rescinded their dog-friendly policies, while others have sought to limit their liability by designating dog-friendly days, establishing dog-free zones and limiting the number of dogs allowed on-site at any given time. In a cautious spirit of accommodation, many employers now require employees determined to bring their dogs to work to first either sign an indemnification agreement taking the company completely off the hook, or privately purchase insurance covering any injuries, discomfitures or legal expenses incurred in the event their mutt misbehaves on company time.

There’s no question that dogs are great. They’re smart and loyal and loving and brave. They’re Man’s best friend. And yet something over 80 percent of the clock-punching public would rather not see dogs in the workplace. So why do they? Call it the Muzzle Effect.

“Many dog owners are very vigorous in support of pet-friendly workplace policies,” reads a report from the human resources firm EMSYS. “Co-workers opposed to such policies rarely voice their objections for fear of being labeled ‘anti-dog.’”

NoDogs

The laugh factor – ancient art of mirth still good for what ails you

 

Don’t worry, be happy

The more I live, the more I think that humor is the saving sense  Jacob August Riis

 Somebody – okay, everybody – once said that laughter is the best medicine.

Granted, back-fence physicians also claim that enough chicken noodle soup can cure everything from plantars warts to irritable bowels to ebola. But even as a blind pig will occasionally turn up an acorn, so a spoonful of sugar really can help the medicine go down, and may even offer an apple-free method for keeping the doctor away. Nothing personal, Doc.

Trouble is, sickness comes in a broad range of styles and colors. While a discount clown and a few balloon animals may easily divert a child in bed with the measles, a person diagnosed with cancer can be a tougher audience. From the moment the word “positive” is first uttered, the cancer patient quickly becomes caught up in a whirling, slow-motion cyclone of medications and doctors, neither of which are especially funny. Throw in a blizzard of insurance forms, a sea of cast-down eyes and the shadowy specter of awaiting Charon, and one might sooner crack a coconut with a hard stare as crack a smile.

But one must try, and not just because a cheerful disposition is about the only thing an HMO can’t charge a co-pay for. As it happens, laughter works.

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine; but a broken spirit drieth the bones  Proverbs 17:22

 Fact is, folks in the leech trade recognized humor’s restorative properties long before a diapered Hippocrates licked his first candy thermometer. Greek physicians of old commonly prescribed convalescent cases a trip to a “house of comedians,” and better Roman hospitals often kept comics on staff to cheer the sick. In medieval times, surgeons told jokes to distract their patients during surgery.

Of course, ancient medicos also believed that bat poop, taken internally, effectively cleansed the body of poisonous vapors, malevolent demons and Syrian spears. Fortunately, modern research amply supports their conviction that good spirits are good for what ails you.

Before anyone does anything rash, like blow the rent money on a Monty Python boxed-set, it should be noted that laughter doesn’t actually cure anything, at least not directly. But studies cited by the American Cancer Society strongly suggest that a hearty chuckle now and then confers numerous physical and psychological benefits. For starters, the simple act of laughing increases breathing, which spurs oxygen use and raises the heart rate. Next, even mild hilarity decreases the level of neuroendocrine and stress-related hormones in the body. Less stress means more laughter means less stress and so on ad infinitum.

Another study links laughter to an increased tolerance for pain, perhaps through the release of as-yet-unidentified endorphins in the brain that inhibit pain transmission. And a bunch of people who make it their business to know these things report that regular doses of mirth can stimulate the body’s immune system, which is a very useful system that should be stimulated at every opportunity.

More remarkably, humorless scientists exploring the biological impact of humor on the brain have discovered that even pointless musings of self-described humorist Bob Saget can have unexpectedly sanguinary – if not particularly humorous – results. To hear them tell it, as a joke begins, the left hemisphere of the cortex immediately begins processing words. The action then moves to the frontal lobe where it’s registered that what’s about to happen will be “funny.” Moments later, the brain’s right hemisphere synthesizes those two factors and searches for a pattern. In a trice, activity in the occipital lobe hits the roof as one “gets” the joke and – except in the case of Bob Saget – laughter ensues. The point of that tiresome recitation being that humor invites the entire brain to the party, or, in psycho-speak, tends to integrate and balance activity in both hemispheres of the brain. And that’s good.

Geez. In clinical terms, even fun doesn’t sound all that fun. Still, the movement to add humor to medicine’s accepted canon of treatments is steadily gaining ground, to the point where it’s been granted a tag – humor therapy.

According to the ACS, hospitals across the country now offer humor therapy rooms chock full of funny books, funny magazines, funny videos and, sometimes, funny people – whatever it takes to turn that frown upside down. In other cases, treatment centers simply detail volunteers to sit with patients and act as friendly foils for the kind of spontaneous laughter that comes naturally with casual banter. There’s a good reason behind those hospital hi-jinks, too. Statistically, folks who look on the sunny side get better faster and stay that way longer. Who knew?

There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor  Tomas W. Higginson

 As any author of limericks will attest, humor’s principal boon is spiritual. Merriment eases the heart, calms the mind and reduces great and terrible issues to more manageable dimensions. Laughter takes the starch out of life’s many stiff collars, so to speak. In her book, Pulmonary Rehabilitation: Guidelines to Success, critical care nurse and tireless therapeutic humor champion Patty Wooten explains thusly:

The ability to laugh at a situation or problem gives us a feeling of superiority and power. Humor and laughter can foster a positive and hopeful attitude. We are less likely to succumb to feelings of depression and helplessness if we are able to laugh at what is troubling us.

At bottom, it’s about quality of life, and life is never sweeter than when punctuated by heartfelt giggles, snorts, hoots and guffaws. And it isn’t only the ill who could use a good laugh. The families and friends of the suffering carry their own freight of anxieties, and humor shines its beneficent light evenly.

Laughter rises out of tragedy, when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage  Erma Bombeck

Animal Hospice – A Love So Strong

Originally published by Evergreen Newspapers

 

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Robin’s hair was white, and short, and terribly thin. Her drawn face was gray, and deeply seamed by suffering. Robin was surely dying, but at least she wasn’t dying alone.

She had a Mount Evans hospice nurse who visited often, and then more often, and then nearly every day, helping to manage Robin’s pain and give her what ease might be possible for a 61-year-old woman enduring the final stages of ovarian cancer.

And Robin had Jamocha.

“Jamocha was a 13-year-old golden retriever,” recalls Julie Nelson, a registered nurse and Mount Evans intake coordinator. “Robin was a single gal and lived way up on Squaw Pass. She’d been on her own for a long time, except for Jamocha, and they apparently had a really special bond. I don’t know exactly what her connection with that dog was, but Jamocha was like her soul mate.”

However strong that bond, it seemed certain that the cancer must prove stronger. One morning Robin’s nurse called Nelson, hoping for a favor.

“Robin had reached the point where she couldn’t really keep Jamocha at home anymore,” Nelson explains. “Her nurse wanted to know if I’d be willing to take him on as a hospice dog.”

Truth is, Robin’s nurse didn’t exactly phone Nelson at random. The Nelson family’s single-minded affection for golden retrievers was no secret around the Mount Evans office, and their Conifer home seemed as good a fit for Jamocha as could likely be found. Even so, Nelson hesitated.

“We’d recently lost a 13-year-old golden we raised from a puppy,” she says. “It was pretty hard on everybody, and I wasn’t sure we wanted to take on another one right away, especially one that old.”

If Nelson had to think it over, she didn’t have to think too long. The chances of somebody adopting Jamocha were slim to none, and the alternative was simply unacceptable. The nurse delivered Robin’s cherished companion to Nelson at her Mount Evans desk that very afternoon, and by nightfall Jamocha was already an indispensable part of the Nelson household.

“We’ve only owned goldens, so it took about 10 seconds to fall in love. He fit right into our family.”

It didn’t hurt that Jamocha chose that moment to become particularly loveable.

“The weird thing is, he was 13, but right away he started acting like a puppy. For that whole week he was very energetic, and very playful. Jamocha played with all of our toys – all of them – and ate an amazing amount of food.”

It was too good to last, of course, and it didn’t.

“One day he just seemed to lose his appetite, and he lost his energy. I talked to Robin’s nurse on the phone that night. When I told her Jamocha wasn’t doing well, she said she wasn’t surprised because his mom was dying. That was the day Robin entered the final stages before death. She was actively dying.”

So much had Jamocha aged in those few hours that by evening he could no longer manage the short trip upstairs to his bed without help. Rather than make him try, Nelson lugged his dog-bed downstairs to the living room. And rather than see her beloved new friend sleep by himself in a strange place, Nelson’s youngest child, 11-year-old Carrie, asked permission for a sleepover.

“Carrie had known that dog for a grand total of 10 days, but she wanted to sleep downstairs with him so he wouldn’t be lonely.”

That night, Nelson tucked Carrie into a sleeping bag laid on the floor next to Jamocha and went upstairs to bed. By morning, the dog’s condition had plainly become grave.

“He wouldn’t eat at all. He just laid there like he was sick.”

It was Carrie who first suggested a possible reason for Jamocha’s abrupt decline.

“This is the crazy part,” Nelson says. “When I came down in the morning she said ‘I think Robin died.’ I asked her why she would think that. She said ‘I think I saw her last night.’”

A thoughtful girl, and not one normally given to flights of fancy, Carrie explained that she’d been awakened by the soft sound of a woman’s voice. Lifting her head, she’d clearly observed a stranger with thick, shoulder-length brown hair seated in a chair next to Jamocha. The woman spoke in hushed tones, and the dog responded with absolute attention.

“Carrie said she couldn’t hear what the lady was saying, but Jamocha obviously knew her.”

Then, in that uncomplicated and perplexing way peculiar to children, Carrie had merely rolled over and gone back to sleep. And that morning, with her daughter’s curious account still fresh in her mind, Nelson called Robin’s nurse.

“For whatever reason, Carrie was right. Robin had died during the night.”

Jamocha never again rose from his dog-bed, or took another bite of food. He simply closed his eyes, and before the sun reached full height slipped quietly away.

“We were all crying,” Nelson says. “My husband said ‘Promise me we’ll never do this again.’ In that short time Jamocha had become a true part of our family. But as painful as it was when he died, it was an amazing experience for all of us.”

Carrie may get her practical nature from her mom. While Nelson has seen her share of remarkable things in her years as a nurse, she certainly wasn’t ready to accept her daughter’s strange account as concrete fact. Then again, she wasn’t quite ready to dismiss it, either.

“Within 48 hours Jamocha went from really good health for a dog his age, to dead,” she says. “That’s got to make you think.”

With a little digging, Nelson was able to locate a photograph of two women, one of them Robin in younger, better days. She’d been an attractive woman with thick, brown tresses cut to the shoulder. A few days later, and without revealing anything about its subjects, Nelson nonchalantly ran the photo past Carrie.

“Right away she said ‘That’s her, mom. That’s the lady who was talking to Jamocha.’”

Sometimes little girls see things that aren’t true. Sometimes old dogs die just because they’re old. And sometimes it’s hard to know exactly where the truth lies, or why things happen the way they sometimes do. Thinking back on her one-time best friend, Carrie is plagued by no such doubts.

“To this day she swears Robin came to get Jamocha.golden-woman

 

Animal Hospice – A Friendly Voice

Originally published by Evergreen Newspapers

 

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The folks at Mount Evans couldn’t long endure their calling’s intense emotional rigors if they weren’t compassionate by nature.

A nurse, social worker or volunteer may attend an ailing patient for years, spending countless hours in their home, easing their hurts, seeing to their comfort, listening to stories of better days, and, too often, quietly marking the course of their final decline. Professional interest inevitably becomes friendship, which blossoms into much deeper affection.

“You become a part of their family,” explains certified nursing assistant Brenda Barrett, a Mount Evans mainstay for 27 years. “And it’s like you adopt them into your own family, too.”

In many cases the caregiver’s adopted family includes a beloved pet. While caregivers are under no legal obligation to care for a patient’s pet, they may come to feel a strong personal one: You do for family.

“I once buried a client’s dog for her. She adored that dog, and it meant a lot to her that it had a real burial. There was just nobody else to do it.

“It’s not just a pet to them,” Barrett says. “Near the end, it can be their closest, dearest companion, and they worry a lot about what will happen to it after they die.

About 18 years ago, Barrett entered the home of a Buffalo Creek client for the first time.

“Her cat was sitting on her tray table when I walked in, eating breakfast off of her plate,” Barrett smiles. “It was an old, fat, gray shorthair. It never meowed, it just made this awful croaking noise. I worked with that woman for more than four years, and when the end got close she became really concerned about what would happen to her cat. Her family wouldn’t take it because they wanted to travel, and she was heartbroken that it would probably wind up in the pound. I mean, who wants a 12-year-old cat?

“It was very upsetting for her, so I said ‘I’ll take it.’ I’m not really a cat-person – they’re too independent for me – but I figured it only had a couple of years left, anyway. It lived to be 26. I had it for a whole other life. The last week of its life it lived on my bed. I fed it with an eye-dropper. I’m still not a cat-person, but I did love that cat.”

For the record, Barrett is a bird-person.

“I had a pair of peach-faced love birds, and I had a conure parrot named Chili. He was kind of bite-y.”

A long while back, Barrett took on a new client named Mary, an ailing 83-year-old Floridian who’s family brought her to Evergreen so she could spend her last days among kin.

“She could be cantankerous, and she was definitely spunky, and very independent,” Barrett recalls. “Her nickname was ‘Casino Kate’ because she used to coerce her family into taking her to Blackhawk.”

Along with a lively spirit, Mary brought with her to Evergreen a 15-year-old grey conure parrot named Misty. Painted in shades of slate and ash, Misty had bright yellow eyes and a companionable gift of gab.

“That bird was her whole life,” says Barrett. “The day before Mary died her daughter asked me if I knew anyone who wanted a bird. It took me about 30 seconds to say ‘I’ll take her.’ Then I immediately thought ‘What did I just do?’ Parrots can live to be 75 or 100 years old. I basically made a lifetime commitment.”

Then again, Barrett’s life’s work is an exercise in commitment. After making that somewhat hasty promise, Barrett broke the good news to Mary.

“She was failing rather quickly, but I think she was afraid to go because she was worried Misty would end up in a shelter. When I told her that Misty would have a good home with me, she was so happy, and so relieved. It felt good that I could give her that peace.”

It took Barrett’s dog, Baby, a little while to warm up to the household’s new chatterbox.

“Misty can bark like three different dogs, and that bothered Baby at first.”

But pup and parrot are fast friends, now, or at least respectful cohabitants, and these days Misty reserves most of her verbal tricks for Barrett.

“She beeps like the stove timer, and she creaks like a squeaky door opening. And if I sleep a little late in the morning she’ll say ‘peekaboo!’ until I wake up.”

Misty also has more conventional manners of expression. “It’s not going to rain,” Misty will announce, regardless of observable weather. “I can talk. Can you fly?” And Misty can be indelicate. “Ya’ gonna’ go poopy? Go poopy!”

“I’m trying to change ‘Go poopy’ to ‘Go Broncos’,” winces Barrett.

And always, Misty is a poignant, sometimes even uncanny reminder of a feisty woman long since departed.

“Misty laughs like Mary, and coughs like Mary,” Barrett says.

And, every now and then, Misty asks, “Where are you, Mary?”

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