EVERGREEN – A Herzman Mesa man phoned JCSO after his libidinous lodger went all “Fatal Attraction.” According to his report, he and his wife had been enjoying pizza and light conversation with some out-of-town friends and, “to be nice,” invited the downstairs tenant to join the fun. Before long, however, the brazen boarder asked him into the kitchen on the thin pretext of fixing her computer, when what she really wanted was a full diagnostic performed on her personal software. Aghast, the landlord rebuffed her so vigorously that she fell on the floor, got mad, started verbally abusing everybody in sight, and had to be escorted out of the house. After thundering around in the basement for a while, she returned with a golf club in one hand and a bone to pick with the complainant’s wife in the other. “It’s a bad time to talk,” she was told, although a few minutes later she got to discuss the situation at length with sheriff’s deputies. Interpreting her demeanor as uncooperative and hostile, officers decided to remove her from the premises. Proving them right, she refused to go under her own steam, forcing officers to more or less carry her, and spent the entire trip to the waiting squad car screaming obscenities back at the house. Once under way, she began making choking noises and collapsed in the back seat. When emergency personnel arrived and pronounced her un-dead, she admitted faking her demise on the mistaken presumption that officers would be compelled to return her lifeless corpse to her apartment. Deputies released the unlucky lover – scorned, but alive – to a responsible party.