Not for the last time, a JCSO deputy was called to investigate a reported shoplifting at Conifer King Soopers. The store’s security officer reported that, about noon, he witnessed a middle-aged woman in a green jacket select items shelves and place them directly into her multi-colored shoulder bag. Suspicious, he followed her as she breezed passed the checkout aisles and headed for freedom. Accosted in the parking lot, she admitted “taking some items.” The woman carried no ID, but identified herself by a snappy, single-word moniker, saying she’d adopted it some years ago to replace a more burdensome three-name designation. As the deputy completed her shoplifting summons, she began to laugh, prompting the officer to remark that she’d picked the wrong store because it’s so well surveilled. “Well,” she responded, “everyone should get caught at least once in their life.”