If he’d arrived at the Conifer Road convenience store just five minutes earlier, the deputy would have enjoyed a pretty good show. As it was, he had to settle for an after-action play-by-play. According to more than one witness, the complainant had been peaceably weed-whacking along the shoulder at about 12:30 p.m. hen an impulsive acquaintance stopped his truck in the street and began noisily berating him. Among other things, the highly vocal fellow suggested the gardener “meet me up on the mountain and I’ll leave you there – you’re so dead,” and claimed to have experienced rapturous physical passion with the man’s beloved only minutes before. He repeatedly drove his car short distances backward and forward and frequently feinted as if to leave the vehicle and address his target more personally. When one impatient motorist drove around him in mid-rant, he vowed to repay the affront with violence. According to witnesses, the gardener’s only contribution to the exchange was “God bless you, and have a nice day.” Contacted later that afternoon, the middle-aged hothead addressed the deputy with characteristic candor. “Is harassment me calling him a (flunking) punk?” He was assured that it is. “Well then I’m guilty of harassment.” He was cited for harassment.