On the evening of June 21, an exasperated fellow called JCSO hoping to file a harassment complaint against a bothersome neighbor. According to his complaint, he and a nearby homeowner had maintained an uneasy DEFCON 3 for some time, but he felt he’d been pushed to battle-stations earlier that day when he began mowing his lawn and his noisome nemesis strolled over to watch the entire process at close range. Just as he finished the chore, the neighbor muttered something about his yard presenting a “wildfire hazard” in a tone that the target perceived as “derogatory”. Given that the complainant never actually ordered the man off of his property, the pesky neighbor’s unhelpful behavior was more irritating than illegal, and the responding deputy judged a harassment charge unwarranted. The cold war continues.