WEST WALKER DRIVE – Drucilla’s gala Halloween party was a frightful success until a swarm of sinister strangers showed up, all of whom A.) forgot their costumes at home in their other pants, and B.) forgot they were neither invited nor welcome. Madame Dru’s efforts to exorcize the infernal interlopers sparked a brawl that spilled out onto the lawn, and the spirit of JCSO was invoked to smother the macabre melee. Before deputies arrived, however, the creepy crashers leapt into a silver SUV and fled into the night. Although thankful that the forces of good had prevailed, Drucilla wasn’t looking forward to explaining the fight’s fearsome flotsam to her dad.

WAVERLY MOUNTAIN – Arising with the dawn, Lana Chaney was horrified to discover mysterious footprints marching across the thin dusting of snow in her fenced back yard. It was horrifying, she told deputies, because her husband hadn’t been outside. Before serious investigation could begin, however, the mysterious tracks mysteriously disappeared – along with the snow – as if banished by the sun’s wholesome and cleansing light. Deputies thought about issuing a BOLO for an invisible man, then thought better.

SOUTH BENTON WAY – Never one to ignore his neighbors when he can as easily terrorize them, Mr. N. Bates installed a pair of ghoulish inflatables in his front yard – one a black carriage of the cadaver-hauling variety, the other a maniacally grinning ghost – and bade them automatically awaken at 6 o’clock each evening and vanish into cold earth at 10:30. Wondering why the diabolical duo was performing its fearful function in an unaccountably feeble fashion, Mr. Bates discovered that a ripper unknown had perforated the bloodcurdling balloons with a 6-inch blade and malice aforethought. The ripper is still at large, and the punctured props are feeling much better now, thanks.