Spying a thick curtain of decorative distraction dangling from a vehicle’s rearview mirror, an alert deputy stopped the festive offender near Evergreen Parkway and Lewis Ridge Road. Alas, the young fellow didn’t habla de Englise, so a second deputy was summoned to interpret. The obstructed motorist identified himself as “Alfredo” and, though he claimed to have no identification on his person, “Alfredo” did produce matching insurance card and registration under that name. Because a records check found no entanglements for “Alfredo,” the deputy returned his documents and told him he was free to go. First, though, they asked if he would mind if they poked around his car, and he said “si.” The officers quickly turned up a wallet under the driver’s seat with a Mexican identification card showing Alfredo’s handsome mug smiling under an entirely different name. Arrested for false reporting, He-Who-Is-Not-Alfredo wound up at the county calaboose where it was learned he answers to yet a third name. The county kept all three personae’s Mexican ID card and bade them vamoose.