A Florence Road resident called 911 to report someone yelling for help near his home. Following faint calls of “help me,” the responding deputy located a mostly naked and fully inebriated woman lying on the ground. “I think I broke my hip,” she said, clearly in pain. “I’ve been crawling for hours.” While largely incoherent, the woman managed to say that someone she “thought was a friend” had drugged and molested her, and that she’d escaped by leaping from a window, although she couldn’t recall who had mistreated her or where he could be found. As soon as Elk Creek Fire Rescue personnel arrived the deputy began scouting for the source of the self-defenstrating damsel, and soon discovered white curtains fluttering from an open third-story window on Alvin Place. Entering through an unlocked basement door, he quickly located a fully-clothed man sleeping one off in that upstairs bedroom next to the woman’s discarded clothing. The man said that he and the injured woman had been romantically involved for about three weeks and had no idea why she would jump out of the window. The home’s owners, roused from deep slumber in an adjacent bedroom, confirmed that they’d all spent a perfectly congenial evening together and couldn’t explain the woman’s flight. Discovering a small quantity of ganja in the man’s wallet, deputies arrested him anyway, an action he protested loudly, frankly and continually. The woman was transported to Saint Anthony’s Central, where medicos found no sign of ungentlemanly trifling, and observed that people with her Himalayan blood-alcohol-content are often subject to hallucinations and erratic behavior